TOM: Who chose it for you?
RAY: What happened was I took ten free throws and I said, "However many I miss, that's how many I have to make before I go to the Emmys." And I took ten free throws, and I only made ONE! That made it so I had to make nine out of ten before I got to go to the Emmys. You understand? If I would've made five free throws, then all I'd have had to make was five out of ten.
TOM: You realize how crazy you sound right now, right?
RAY: Yes, I do, but you understand the math behind it, right?
TOM: Yeah, it makes perfect sense. As we see in the film, you do have loopholes in your mind bets.
RAY: Well, I wouldn't call them loopholes. They're all within the parameters of the bet, of the rules. But what happens is when I find one loophole, then the next time I make that mind bet I'll say, "And you can't use that loophole again," you know what I mean? I'll take away that loophole.
TOM: This could be the admission interview to a mental institute. [They laugh.]
RAY: I would have a much better time if I didn't make those bets.
What do you guys enjoy about performing together while on tour?
RAY: The Q&A is fun.
TOM: That's the most fun. At the end of each stand-up show we come out on stage and Ray says, "Any questions from the audience?" And then he and I try to ad-lib.
RAY: That can be the most fun because it's improvised. There are certain questions that the audience does ask every time, but for the most part you get a couple of new things, you gotta be quick on your feet and come up with a funny response. It gets the adrenaline going.
TOM: Yeah, you're in the moment.
RAY: You're not just doing routine stuff that you've done over and over and over again, so that's fun.
TOM: And every once in a while there's a wild question. That's a funny part of the movie.
RAY: Yeah, there are a couple of crazy questions that are usually good.
TOM: Like in this interview.
RAY: No. I don't think we've said one funny thing in this interview. And I blame it on the questions.
TOM: See, this is like the movie. I think we've said a lot of funny things.
RAY: What does it matter? Nobody's listening this far into the interview anyway.
Ray, what does Anna, your wife, think of the film?
RAY: Anna can't watch it because she can't stand the way I eat.
TOM: Yeah, we were watching it once with Anna and she was like, "Good, now everyone will see the way you eat." She said, "I can't watch that scene in the movie. It makes me shake." Anna also didn't like that we shared an apartment the first season. Every time she visited I had to leave.
RAY: It was because Anna--
TOM: Anna took me aside and said she didn't want any girls staying overnight.
RAY: What? How dare she! I couldn't figure out your lull. That was all Anna?
TOM: No. That had nothing to do with her. It's hard to meet a woman when you're sharing a car.
RAY: But you were sharing a car with a TV star.
TOM: Not yet. The show was number 83 in the ratings. You were just a guy I was sharing a car with.
Ray, in the film you mention that you don't have time "to work on the script." What's the script?
RAY: It was a Raymond episode we were writing together.
TOM: We were supposed to hand it in June 1st. Do you remember when we finished?
TOM: Labor Day.
RAY: What one was it?
TOM: Jealous Robert.
RAY: That was a good one. It was worth the wait.
TOM: At least the part I wrote.
RAY: We edited your part out.
How does this documentary differ from Seinfeld's Comedian?
TOM: Comedian is a very good film, but much different than ours.
RAY: You know what's different? We don't have Seinfeld in ours, but he has me in his.
TOM: Yeah. For forty seconds.
RAY: Yeah, but it's riveting. We actually started filming ours before his came out. Right?
TOM: Well, we filmed a tour a year before they started, but the tour we shot for this film was a couple of months after they finished filming. One of their producers was actually very helpful in giving us advice. That's one of the reasons we screened ours so many times.
RAY: It's ironic because his movie is about something and ours is about nothing.
TOM: His movie was about coming up with a new act.
RAY: And ours is about beating to death an old one.
TOM: Why do you always trash our movie? You know it's funny.
RAY: I know I hate myself, and that's all I know. [Singing to the tune of Linda Ronstat and Aaron Neville's Don't Know Much] "I know I hate myself, and that may be all I need to knowww!"
TOM: We should end this. Once he starts--
RAY: [Singing very loudly] "...and that's all I knowwww!"
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